I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize