The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
