There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
