He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
