he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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