omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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