After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
