Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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