Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize