she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
