You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
