Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Two words: blizzard sex
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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