I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Panties = found
Randomize
