I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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