I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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