i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
