You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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