Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
