Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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