this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you win again, gameday.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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