thus making me awesome and them whores
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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