Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.