Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Im at strip club and am horny

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  (313): Im at strip club and am horny http://tfl.nu/rj7w
  Replies (8) Good night (1264) Bad night (2003)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.

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  (303): Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !! (832): Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless. http://tfl.nu/apa0
  Replies (20) Good night (3911) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  ya, gonna go have sex there?

  (631): View more from New York

  No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home

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  (631): U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track? (248): ya, gonna go have sex there? (631): No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home http://tfl.nu/4bvt
  Replies (4) Good night (995) Bad night (1505)
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  (650): View more from California

  so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.

  (415): View more from California

  What...you let him do that?

  (650): View more from California

  It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow

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  (650): so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow. (415): What...you let him do that? (650): It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow http://tfl.nu/aum0
  Replies (72) Good night (5463) Bad night (711)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...

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  (519): she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up... http://tfl.nu/djzy
  Replies (19) Good night (761) Bad night (9739)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made

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  (609): she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made http://tfl.nu/a7md
  Replies (46) Good night (1203) Bad night (6697)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.

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  (708): She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin. http://tfl.nu/wbej
  Replies (24) Good night (1851) Bad night (6791)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.

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  (804): finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets. http://tfl.nu/gp9t
  Replies (21) Good night (8288) Bad night (1195)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!

  (678): View more from Georgia

  correction: escorted out

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  (404): YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?! (678): correction: escorted out http://tfl.nu/gkul
  Replies (23) Good night (5212) Bad night (951)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.

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  (503): Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/acr2
  Replies (7) Good night (1732) Bad night (982)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.

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  (704): Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday. http://tfl.nu/1b1a
  Replies (2) Good night (1125) Bad night (835)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!

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  (724): I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw! http://tfl.nu/e9vz
  Replies (14) Good night (3346) Bad night (700)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.

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  (262): Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene. http://tfl.nu/6cb0
  Replies (1) Good night (1217) Bad night (546)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.

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  (787): I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house. http://tfl.nu/o0ch
  Replies (1) Good night (574) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths

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  (734): I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths http://tfl.nu/fyxi
  Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (337)

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