It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.