Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.

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  (773): I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend. (1-773): Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you. http://tfl.nu/z52z
  Replies (28) Good night (902) Bad night (2757)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it

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  (802): you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it http://tfl.nu/ykku
  Replies (27) Good night (3533) Bad night (762)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

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  (817): Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have. http://tfl.nu/2nqb
  Replies (23) Good night (770) Bad night (4707)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?

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  (770): I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward? http://tfl.nu/lg8a
  Replies (50) Good night (781) Bad night (6014)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  All of them

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  (812): McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want? (1-812): All of them http://tfl.nu/mhdi
  Replies (42) Good night (10057) Bad night (930)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework

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  (828): I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework http://tfl.nu/o5bk
  Replies (34) Good night (1314) Bad night (4773)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other

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  (506): All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other http://tfl.nu/mktv
  Replies (13) Good night (5414) Bad night (1010)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.

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  (601): Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall. http://tfl.nu/qd0i
  Replies (7) Good night (2899) Bad night (1039)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?

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  (540): My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project? http://tfl.nu/mcoi
  Replies (11) Good night (3434) Bad night (1169)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp

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  (214): You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp http://tfl.nu/t0a5
  Replies (9) Good night (1420) Bad night (2771)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.

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  (678): I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real. http://tfl.nu/66oa
  Replies (7) Good night (1484) Bad night (985)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.

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  (612): Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON. http://tfl.nu/8yy5
  Replies (6) Good night (1054) Bad night (486)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL

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  (403): I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON (403): PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY (403): THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL http://tfl.nu/9qgu
  Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (564)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.

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  (614): I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help. http://tfl.nu/pypk
  Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (740)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.

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  (301): I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes. http://tfl.nu/nn8c
  Replies (2) Good night (304) Bad night (395)

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