Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.

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(562): omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever. http://tfl.nu/2p77

Replies (292) Good night (30136) Bad night (13767)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class

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(717): I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class http://tfl.nu/9lx5

Replies (67) Good night (1185) Bad night (5120)
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(248): View more from Michigan

the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.

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(248): the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake. http://tfl.nu/1bz8

Replies (7) Good night (2587) Bad night (592)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I am spending my child support on dildos

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(405): I am spending my child support on dildos http://tfl.nu/j7aa

Replies (78) Good night (1324) Bad night (4079)
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(516): View more from New York

this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore

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(516): this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore http://tfl.nu/7h30

Replies (27) Good night (2335) Bad night (1065)
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(518): View more from New York

no really all good couples have similar hair colors!

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(518): no really all good couples have similar hair colors! http://tfl.nu/r50f

Replies (42) Good night (1337) Bad night (3617)
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(971): View more from Oregon

I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.

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(971): I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger. http://tfl.nu/97wz

Replies (27) Good night (4262) Bad night (3847)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON

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(843): REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON http://tfl.nu/qqb2

Replies (12) Good night (1423) Bad night (2642)
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(513): View more from Ohio

constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.

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(513): constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time. http://tfl.nu/n1tc

Replies (3) Good night (1707) Bad night (777)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?

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(703): Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday? http://tfl.nu/wnf1

Replies (8) Good night (1776) Bad night (725)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?

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(337): Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think? http://tfl.nu/0xiw

Replies (9) Good night (984) Bad night (1352)
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(518): View more from New York

It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.

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(518): It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear. http://tfl.nu/ktyi

Replies (20) Good night (910) Bad night (1876)
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(951): View more from California

The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.

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(951): The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever. http://tfl.nu/0whk

Replies (3) Good night (900) Bad night (454)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it

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(601): I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it http://tfl.nu/z5ku

Replies (0) Good night (331) Bad night (448)
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(323): View more from California

This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.

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(323): This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin. http://tfl.nu/blfu

Replies (0) Good night (734) Bad night (322)

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