Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
