So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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