I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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