i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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