Sponge bath it is.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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