u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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