Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
