I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
