If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
