Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize