doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
