I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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