dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
