Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
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i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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