He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
