She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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