My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
