I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
