im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
