Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
