Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
