i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
