i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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