i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
