just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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