hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
