remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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