i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
