I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
