I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
