is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
