i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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