On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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