hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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