so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
