i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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